Contestants Two and Three

I took some time off from OkCupid during the holiday season, and I only recently got in touch with two guys I had agreed to meet, one with whom I actually wanted to go on a date and another with whom I did not (more on that to come). The way my schedule worked out, I was available on both Friday and Saturday, so I figured I'd set up dates for both nights and get them both out of the way in one weekend. It sounds slutty, but really it's just that I think of meeting men like completing homework assignments. If you're a therapist, maybe you can tell me why that is.

Anyway, Friday night I met the first guy. We'll call him Contestant Two, or C2 (if you're wondering what happened to C1, it's this guy). Based on his profile, he seemed intelligent and maybe even witty. I wasn't totally sure that we had common interests, but he at least seemed worth meeting. He suggested a coffee shop in the East Village, and after a little internet research, I concluded that it was exactly the sort of place I would enjoy spending time, but that a person who spent time in such an establishment might be a hipster and therefore cooler than me. I also learned that the establishment did not take debit cards and armed myself with cash. I ate pizza before I went, intending to buy a coffee and drink it very slowly to minimize spending. I became a little worried when he texted me multiple times before our date. If he was someone who needed to be in constant contact with everyone he knew, things were not going to work out. Had he texted anyone during our date, I might have left.

When C2 arrived at the locale I had three first impressions of him (no, I don't think that's too many). One: he had a beard. I believe I've made it clear that I'm not a fan of beards, but it seemed to suit him. And despite the beard he was rather good looking. Really, it only struck me because why does every guy I meet have a beard? Two: he was wearing a suit. I later learned that he had just come from work, but I felt a little out of place in my jeans and button down blouse even though I was technically in place and he was the one who was out of place wearing a suit in a coffee shop. Three: he hugged me. I am not against hugging, but I felt a little uncomfortable. Dude, I don't know you. Take a step back.

Once we got past the awkward hug and into the restaurant, I felt quite comfortable with C2, though he did touch my arm a few more times than I thought was appropriate. We had a good long conversation, learned a lot about each other and caught the flower in the vase on our table on fire via the small candle sitting next to it. I passed up food, explaining that I had already eaten pizza and ordered a chai latte. He had tea and a sandwich. It was a decidedly unpretentious order. I approved. Somehow we ended up talking about board games and switched venues to a bar with board games. We played Connect Four over cocktails.

All in all it was an enjoyable evening with someone who was easy to spend time with, and I am no longer worried about the texting (I think he was just confirming). But, here is what I am worried about: C2 bought my tea at the coffee shop and my appletini at the bar. Perhaps he was just being gentlemanly, but I think he also has significantly more money than I have. He has a career at a major financial institution. He owns his own home. Why would he be interested in dating someone with no career, with a low paying job, with incredible debt? Economically, at least, I am not his equal. I can't afford to go out all the time, but I can't let him pay all the time either. Then I'm indebted to him. He's not going to sacrifice going out because I can't afford it. Perhaps I'm worried about nothing, but it is a foreseeable problem.

Anyway, I'm meeting him again tomorrow.

To explain my date with Contestant 3--C3, if you will, I will refer you to the first 14 seconds of the following clip from Scooby Doo.

I was not enthusiastic about meeting C3. I honestly cannot remember why I ever agreed to meet him in the first place. He was one of the first people to message me on OkCupid, and I deleted the message because he didn't sound that interesting. Then he messaged me again and I responded. Maybe it was because I was new to the site and he was paying attention to me. I can't really say. But I agreed to meet him. I think this was in October. Then I thought about it and decided I didn't want to meet him. Then I stopped going to the site for a while and totally forgot about him, but when I returned to the site, there he was. I felt bad for ignoring him for months. According to his profile, we had nothing in common, but I told him to meet me at my favorite coffee shop.

I showed up 15 minutes late, which was not intentional, but was rude. We went into the shop where I bought myself a scone and he bought himself a hot chocolate. Since there was no place to sit, I suggested we walk in the park. C3 was sweet and totally nonthreatening, but it quickly became apparent that he did not know how to hold a conversation. I would ask him a question, and he would respond with one word. He did not elaborate. He did not offer amusing anecdotes. He did not even reciprocate the questions. Sometimes the answers he gave didn't seem relevant to my questions, and on the rare occasions that he spoke more than a few words, the things he said didn't make much sense. He finally started telling me about a trip he'd once taken to DC when he asked for permission to segue. I'd never felt so powerful. "Sure. Go ahead and segue," I said, but it turned out that what he meant by segue was completely change topic. He had no dazzling transition to offer. 

Then he asked me what I thought of him, which was incredibly awkward. I said that he seemed nice, but I didn't think we had anything in common. He insisted that he liked books: in high school he read In Cold Blood and he often read the news paper. Luckily, I had made plans to meet a friend for dinner (and for her to hem my pants) exactly two hours after the start of my date with C3, so I wasn't lying when I said I had to leave to bring my pants somewhere. 

He called today to ask me to go to a museum with him. I said, "Um............I'm okay." Poor Creeper.